Note: This post was originally written on the 28th of January, 2007. I’ve now decided to publicize it as a reminder to myself as to how my views towards life was during that period of time. I never wanted to publicize this post but reading it now makes me feel obligated to do so. A stark reminder of bitter memories and hardships that I’ve managed to overcome, perhaps?
In all honesty, I do sincerely hope that I have had changed since that period of time but in many ways, I am certain that some of these negative elements do still persist within me. I do pray that I will never slump that far down ever again. I really do.
Oh by the way, Victoria Bitter is good too so do please try some if you do have the chance. 
Life isn’t fair.
Life generally sucks.
Life isn’t really fun.
Life isn’t really what we all had expected.
Then again, what else is new, correct?
Complaining about the weather isn’t going to change it, I know but seriously, I still would like to vent anyway. 
It is only logical that I take good care of my mental health and periodically vent these thoughts out into /dev/null. 
Still, I must wonder and ask, does being matured means being able to shut up and not show any visible change in emotion when something one does not like is being shoved right into one’s face, whether they like it or not?
Is this what being matured means? Just by being tolerant and not adding to the flames of disagreement and ultimately bitter resentment?
I would still like to remind some folk that I am still pretty much bitter. Oh wait, let me re-phrase that - I’m still VERY, VERY bitter. I am filled with bile and hatred towards certain matters and certainly have very good reasons to do so.
I’ll just say this, no one is ever born evil nor bad. An evil person or even, a VERY misguided person is technically the byproduct of his/her interaction with their environment. An environment that was probably filled with dreadful amounts of abnormal experiences and the rejection of the many which inadvertantly produced the said grotesque results.
So the next time you meet someone who seems only interested in serving their own selfish purposes, ask yourself this. What were the actual causes of his/her selfishness and the seemingly personafied image of anger and resentment towards society?
As I’ve said earlier, no one is born evil. Have you ever heard of an evil baby being denounced by everyone even before it has drawn its first breath?
Never ever judge a book by its cover. For even the most decayed of books, at one point in time, were also once beautiful and full of life.
Also, don’t ever tell me how the fuck being abandoned feels like. I’ve have experienced it too many times already and am somewhat glad that there is indeed some forms of retribution towards these so-called “saints of humanity“.
You think you have it bad, trust me, you don’t.
Imagine looking from the outside in all the time. Imagine the sadness felt by someone who tries and tries but seemingly fails. Imagine what it must feel like being always considered an outcast due to the diferring interests as well as the immediate judgement of one’s character within the first 5 seconds of being visually engaged.
If you were truly saints, you would never have judged a person based on how nice and beautiful they look, correct?
Insecurity. Fear of persecution. Fear of being laughed upon. Fear of shouldering responsibility. Fear of being truly honest with one self. Fear of taking the plunge into the unknown. Fear of exploring one’s own boundaries and limits.
You still think I’m talking about myself?
Think again.
So if you ever fucking tell me that what I’m doing is wrong and illogical, ask yourself this then, who do you think was the one who made me into this vile and wretched creature that you now view with utter disgust?
Oh, do tell. Do please. I await your insight.
Ugh…
P/S: I’m not bitter. In a perfect world, I would not be.
P/P/S: Plus, I actually LOVE metal, and the likes, and it is all thanks to a friend of mine who helped remind me of what I had once truly loved but unknowingly lost during this false crusade I had once embarked on.
You have my thanks.
STORMTROOPERS OF DEATH ARE TRULY THE LEGENDARY SHIT!!! \m/
